April 2005 Archives
April Fools Day used to be harmless fun... but then the internet came along and now every doofus with a computer can publish their stupid jokes. It’s become ‘amateur comedian day’ which is not a good thing... we have professionals for a reason.
I mean, does anyone think this sounds like a good idea if, for example, the profession was changed from comedian to airplane pilot? Say, every May 1st anyone who wants to fly a plane can just get in and go? That’d be a disaster, though appropriately named...
Tonight was the last night of The Lord of the Rings marathon; here is a picture of The Fellowship:
Not a day goes by that I don’t receive an email from a fan asking for an update on my foot wart. Well, I’m sorry to announce that foot wart is dead (Wow, deaths really do come in threes… First Terri Shiavo, then the Pope, and now foot wart! Spooooky!)
And what was the secret remedy that finally made it go away? Nothing. I last visited the podiatrist in January and he admitted that the treatments didn’t seem to be working. He said we should just wait a month and see what happens (since warts are unpredictable). He suggested that I might try the duct tape method, but he seemed pretty skeptical that it'd work. So, I did nothing... and it just went away!
Monday I woke up in a serious funk. So serious, in fact, that I did not want to face the day. I don’t really know what it was all about, but I really didn’t feel like dealing with people. So I took a personal day from work and... well, I had no plan on what to do next. I hung around the house for the first half of the day, and eventually decided that I’d get my Oregon driver’s license.
Oregon requires all drivers to pass the knowledge test to obtain a license regardless of whether you already have a valid out of state license. So, I downloaded the Driver Manual and quickly read through the 109 pages, memorizing tons of facts and figures (park no closer than 10 feet from a fire hydrant, 20 feet from a crosswalk, 30 feet from an intersection, etc). Once sufficiently studied up, I went to the DMV and got in line. The test went nice and easy (had I not studied, I think I would have had a 50% chance of passing). One hour and 60 dollars later and I was a registered Oregon driver again.
With new license in hand, I headed straight for the library to shake off the shackles of library card probation. I had also planned to go to the post office to get tax and change of address forms, but I couldn’t find it! (the librarians gave me bad directions) Hungry, so I had lunch at McDonalds and then went across the street to open an account at Blockbuster (see all the things you can do with a driver’s license?) My inaugural rental ended up being the new PS2 game called God of War (more on that game in a later post).
Headed home, it was after 5pm by now so Kara was home. We hung out and did our own things (I played God of War for most of the night). I think being alone for most of the day was therapeutic... I guess I was getting a little ODed on people or something.
God of War is a game that transcends its genre. One so good that you’re almost guaranteed to like it regardless of what type of games you typically enjoy. It's the best PS2 game I’ve ever played, and a game that should make you seriously consider buying the console if you don’t own one. And to think I almost didn’t try it because it’s "not my kind of game!"
There are plenty of glowing reviews out there, so I’m not going to rehash what they all say. But I will say why I’m enjoying it so much. First the controls (and the onscreen result of manipulating said controls) are near perfection. There are a number of moves that Kratos can perform, and any one move can be strung into any other move in any direction. Once you become familiar with the button combinations, it becomes natural to perform the actions necessary to keep your fella alive. Second, the game is ridiculously generous with health and checkpoints. I have still died many times, but I haven’t had to replay large sections of the game over and over. And even replaying small sections isn’t a hassle, because the game is so damn fun! Third the level design is wonderful. Often times you’ll find yourself returning to an area you’ve been in before, but now you’ll have new abilities that’ll give you access to new doorways, etc. This integrated level design makes it feel like you are in a real place instead of just fighting through individually designed stages.
Finally, the game is just cool. It’s set back in ancient Greece with the gods in full effect (your goal of the game is to stop Ares from destroying Athens). You fight your way through centaurs, minotaurs, gorgons, cyclopes, harpies, and more. When monsters are nearing death, you can initiate a fatality mini-game that is unique per monster. And these fatalities are seriously gruesome; you rip heads off of gorgons, wings off of harpies, and chop legs and heads off of centaurs. Throw in some polygonal breasts (which admittedly seems out of place... not on the women, but in the game) and you’ve got a game that is seriously not for kids.
I'd say "you must buy this game" but I haven't even bought it! I rented it from Blockbuster (since I didn't know if I'd like it). I'm pretty sure I'll have it beat before it's due back, so... You must rent this game? How about: You MUST play this game!!!
This past weekend was our first time on the receiving end of a Seattle-Portland visit; Brett and Jess came down! (they pretended that they wanted to visit us but really they were just shopping for a car... jerks!) Naw, we hung out and among other things, played some boardgames. I had introduced them to Settlers before we moved down to Portland, so they were itching to try some other ones.
We ended up playing Ticket to Ride on Friday night. I’ve played this game a good number of times by now, and I often win by a ridiculous amount of points (I was like 40 points ahead of second and I nearly lapped the person in last place). The buzz on this game was that it was great for newbies, but I dunno... How fun is it to be taught a game and then massacred by the teacher? As for my victory strategy? Commit to a cross country route early, and then pick up plenty of additional tickets that go along with the long ticket... I suppose there’s the risk of not making it all the way across the country, but it’s yet to happen to me...
We also played Carcassonne a couple of times on Saturday (without and then with expansions). I’m not in love with this game, but it’s decent fun and good for noobs. Kara is seriously a shark at this game. She steals stuff all the time and because of it, she usually wins. She stole her way to victory in the first game, so I figured she’d win the second as well (the big meeple in the expansion only enhances her evil thieving ways). However, there was a huge farm formed early in the game (thanks to the 4 city cap piece) and we all (save Jess) dedicated our big boys to that farm. The farm ended up being shared 3 ways, and I took the victory from points gathered elsewhere.
This weekend marked my full-on launch back into the wonderful world of Halo 2 multiplayer. It had been 2 months and 2 days since my last match, but you wouldn’t have guessed it from the way I’ve been playing! OWWW! I played a total of 53 games over the weekend, some with random people but a lot with Trinipular (Dave), Cyko (Brett), Spicy Princess (Kara), and Wavo (Micah). And this was the perfect time to start it back up because today is the launch of the auto update patch. This patch will fine tune the balance of some weapons (strengthen melee and grenade attacks) and fix the glitches that are exploited by cheaters. And if that wasn’t enough to get me excited, two free maps are dropping sometime in the next 12 days! AND, they are resetting the leader boards to wipe out the cheaters' rankings (and because they’ve tweaked the ranking system as well) which means a lot of leveling up in the near future... and let’s face it, leveling up is FUN!
One morning last week, I was reading my book and waiting for the bus to arrive. An old lady walks by and in passing says “must be a good book.” I looked up and smiled, but then thought “why would she say that?” It must be a good book because... I’m reading it so early in the morning? I’m reading it outside in the cold? Because I appear to have good taste in books, and therefore any book I deem readable must be good? No, she was probably saying it to have something to say as she passed, but it seemed a weird thing to say.
This morning she passed me again, and guess what she said... “must be a good book.” Um, lady... don’t you remember saying that exact same thing, to the exact same person, at the exact same location, at the exact same time only a few days earlier? And you know what? It makes even less sense the second time...
SCENE I. Tenth floor office hallway. Near elevators.
Enter Jake, who pushes the down elevator button and waits.
The elevator doors open; Jake enters and discovers a bedraggled man already on elevator.
Man: I am going up.
Jake looks at elevator panel, only the fourth floor button is pressed and the readout is showing a down arrow.
Jake (in sing-song tone): I don’t think so...
Jake presses first floor button, elevator doors shut and elevator goes down.
Elevator doors open at fourth floor, a man on the fourth floor hands some coffee cups in to the bedraggled man and waves as the elevator doors shut.
Elevator arrives at first floor, doors start opening.
Man: Aww man! No, not the first floor, I wanted to go UP!
Jake: What floor did you want to go to?
Man: The fourth floor!
Exit Jake, shaking head.
I brought my Gamecube along to Hawaii, I don’t deny it. And I’m glad I did, because it was the perfect indoor activity on the rainy days. Paper Mario was pretty blah, but once I beat that I moved on to Pikmin 2, and what a treat! The game was so great that it earned a last second spot on my top games of 2004. And then I came back from Hawaii, and didn’t play it... Honestly, it was a busy time, interviewing for jobs, moving to Portland, looking for a place to stay, etc. So, my faithful troop of Pikmin sat lonely and neglected... until this past Sunday.
Kara and I were sitting around not doing much, so I pulled the game out to try the two player version... and it was a lot of fun! And it reminded me of what I’ve been missing, so I started playing the single player game again. The game has a neat sense of exploration to it. The levels are pretty open and have plenty of tasks that need to be completed. You have full control over what you do next, so it feels almost like you are writing a story as you play. I’ve nearly beat the game now, but I expect this’ll be one of those rare games that I keep coming back to. Even after I’ve met the goal of 10,000 Poko (that’s money) there’ll be plenty of treasures left to find (I haven’t even unlocked the 4th world OR the challenge mode yet!) This game reminds me of just how good Nintendo games can be... now if only they’d make more than two a year.
